1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, plastic surgery, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. Just like hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. The institution of marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can’t marry whites, wives can’t testify against their husbands, and divorce is still illegal.
5. The institution of marriage will be destroyed if gay marriage is allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed, and the over-50% divorce rate will be less sacred.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to get married because they can’t produce children. And we certainly need more children!
8. Gay marriage is anti-Biblical. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in American.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to women and minorities having equal rights.
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